Monkey King

We have been the Lords of the Earth for far too long. It is time to usher in a new, smaller, hairier age. It is time to bow down to our new global leader. All hail the Monkey King. Hail!

Right now across the world the monkeys are plotting. You see them in the zoos, you laugh at how they throw their poo and masturbate all the damned time but every now and again in the news there’s a little story about a monkey attack. They’ll pick someone at random, drop on their head, chew off their ears and run away.

These aren’t random acts of aggression. This is practice.

At some point in the near future, the monkeys will attack . They have studied us, they know our weaknesses (face and genitals). They have the dexterity, the strength, the speed, and most importantly nobody suspects them. At first we might resist. We’ve got technology, we’ve got clothes and buildings and iPods. However, the monkeys are smart.. much smarter than we expect. They will perform a precision strike on major military facilities. They will arm themselves.

Then, truly, The Chimpocalypse will be upon us.


Wallpaper: 1600×1200
Widescreen: 1920×1200
iPhone: 640×960
iPad: 1024×1024

See it in the real world

Own this tee, hoodie or sticker? Send me a photo and I’ll post it here.

  • Kim

  • Joel Brady

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